Shoot me in the eye with ray guns
A response to William Shatner's nauseating rendition of a Beatles classic

(Parody of lyrics to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by The Beatles)

Picture yourself on the bridge of a starship
With Lieutenant Sulu and Doctor McCoy,
Somebody hails you, you answer quite slowly,
The Vulcan who never tells lies.
Dilithium crystals of yellow and green
Shatter when thrown at your head.
Look for the android with pink plastic eyes -
He's the one.

Shoot me in the eye with ray guns . . .

Follow him down from the bridge to Ten Forward
Where a weirdo called Guinan serves cold Klingon pies,
Everyone screams as you outsmart the aliens
With latex foam around their eyes.
Soft fluffy tribbles appear on the floor
Trying to crawl out of your way,
Stand on the pad of a transporter beam -
And you're gone.

Shoot me in the eye with ray guns . . .

Picture yourself going Warp Factor Seven
Through wormholes and starfields in inky-black skies,
Suddenly something appears on the viewscreen,
"Resistance is futile!", it cries.

Shoot me in the eye with ray guns . . .

Copyright © 2003 Elwood Herring