A 22ND CENTURY NOVELIST'S DISCLAIMERS

Spotted in a book which mysteriously appeared on my table while I was working on my time machine.

· This is a work of fiction. Any opinions expressed herein are those of the fictional characters themselves and are not necessarily those of the author's.

· Any resemblance to persons living, dead, resurrected, cloned, artificially generated or DNA copyrighted is entirely coincidental.

· The author and / or publisher will not accept any responsibility for any eye strain which may occur as a result of reading this book, nor paper cuts to the fingers or any other part of the human anatomy.

· This book does not contain nuts, or any reference to pork products. (May contain traces of turkey.)

· No religious opinions are expressed within.

· Do not expose to direct or indirect sunlight, moisture, radioactive hazard, acid rain or solar wind.

· Do not take internally, either raw or cooked, whole or dissolved.

· Do not read while driving, flying, operating heavy machinery or indulging in virtual reality.

· This book is not a toy or a sex aid. Keep out of reach of babies, children, robots and fetishists.

· Avoid back injury - adopt the correct posture when lifting.

· Do not attempt to perform any of the stunts described herein without proper training and medical supervision.

· If thrown, take care to avoid the eyes / groin / antennae.

· May cause injury if dropped from a height of more than 2 metres (12 metres on Luna)

· Will biodegrade automatically 30 minutes after the last page is turned, unless stored in a hermetically sealed environment.

· May spontaneously combust if exposed to temperatures greater than 232°C (505°K or 450°F).

Not available in paperback form on Mercury or Venus.

· Available in the following formats: VHS, CD-ROM, DVD, Micro-Disc, Bipolar Induction Module, Tesseractuated Hypercube, Direct Neural Input and Times New Roman.

· Not available in Betamax, 8 track or floppy disk formats.

· Subtitled in 245 languages including Braille, Semaphore, Morse and ASCII. Click here to access.

· No part of this publication may be reproduced by any means whatsoever whether mechanical, electronic, optical, neurone enhancement or temporal displacement techniques without sole permission of the author in writing, in triplicate, in blood.

· If you have enjoyed this book, why not live the Holo-Novel ™ ?

· Please address any correspondence / complaints / payments etc. to elwood.herring@lunarpost1.mn or by Hypertelepath at Microsoft ZENER £�º�r

© Elwood Herring 2001