A thing of beauty is a joy forever,
And sold, evades all Gains Tax, if you're clever.
Oh, my love's like a red, red rose
Demolished by a garden hose.
Is this a dagger which I see before me?
Another pint of 'Strongbow' should restore me.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
You fit the bill - cold, dimmish, wet and grey.
Stands the church clock at ten to three?
Does no one wind the thing but me?
MARTIN FAGG
(St. Laurence Church by the Great Stone Inn, Northfield, Birmingham at exactly ten to three)
She dwelt among the untrodden ways
And wore green wellies all her days.
MARGARET ROGERS
My true love hath my heart and I have his,
Such the state of organ transplants is.
V. ERNEST COX
Where are you going with your lovelocks flowing,
And your skirt hitched up and your knickers showing?
GERARD BENSON
Farewell! Thou art too dear for my possessing.
(We should have fixed the price before undressing.)
She stood breast high amid the corn.
It took two days for her to mow the lawn.
N. J. WARBURTON
Because I do not hope to turn again,
I have now moved into the right-hand lane.
REM BEL
Jenny kissed me when we met.
I wish she'd buy a new Gillette.
RON RUBIN