to my Home Page
A * denotes my personal favourites ....
Comments in red from LYRIQ (the MENSA poetry magazine) - thanks!
Title (Latest first)
©Year
"... A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men..."
Shortobiography
2006
Written in the middle of a depression period - sums up the way I feel I've been treated most of my life.
Answering machine messages
2004
Not a poem but a collection of answering machine messages I have actually used in the past.
Dryad
2004
Not a poem but another short story. I wrote this a couple of years ago and forgot about it until recently.
Upon Waking
2004
The sort of nonsense that goes through my semi-conscious mind every morning.
Shoot me in the eye
2004
A response to William Shatner's nauseating rendition of a Beatles classic.
Pronounced Stress
2003
I won't shed a tear if you tear down the shed / If it's too light to light it, raze it to the ground.
A Dream
2002
This is an ongoing project to create an interactive story based on my dreams. It's not finished yet, but it will hopefully expand as I continue to write it. You decide after every page where you want to go next. It is all based on actual dreams that I have had, so you can psychoanalyse all you want!
Summit Solution
2002
The World Summit solution to global famine & poverty...
Think Round Corners
2002
'Think round corners, work that mental tackle -
Massage those synapses - stretch and strain!'
That Masterpiece...
2002
A tribute to the unique genius of Noel Coward.
Whatever happened to POETRY?
2002
Well - please tell me if you agree with me on this one!
Two Words
2002
A short story - actually it's a bit more than two words, more like two pages.
Fantasia on Composers
2002
'While Gordon and Jacob both stifle a snore, He dreams the complete works of Nicholas Maw.'
WTC RIP
2001
This is not a poem - this is real life. I have been asked to write something about this atrocity. I can't.
The Man in Grey
2001
'Full of delights, many gleefully clever lines.' - A. Claybourne
Suffer Little Children
2001
This one WILL shock you - if it doesn't, then get off my website.
A Suburban Aural Tapestry
2001
'A poem that makes its wry point with patience and humour' - A. Claybourne
James
2001
'Names, James explains / are merely frames'
THERAPI
2001
'Such ingenuity leaves me gasping! - A.C.
Disclaimers
2001
'Any resemblance to persons living, dead, resurrected, cloned, artificially generated or DNA copyrighted is entirely coincidental.'
Somebody Else
2001
'Every cloudless day / Is somebody Else's / Every tired cliche' reviews
Jabberwocky Revisited
*
2000
'A frabjous ode... brillig indeed' - T. Wren
'...intelligent new twist on what I thought was an untwistable subject' - N. Spooner-Harvey
Sincerity
2000
'... Once again, Elwood throws the reader off guard' - E. Dent
I drink, therefore who am I
2000
In all my waking thoughts I never thought I'd think of that!
The Zen Solution...
2000
... to life in the 21st century as described by the Zen master...
The Queer Old Dean
*
2000
'A fitting tribute indeed. Well it tickled my muckle chuscles' - J. Mann
Three Short Poems
2000
In response to a request for shorter poems...
The Greatest SF Story
*
2000
A Pantoum Tribute to "The Star" by Arthur C. Clarke reviews
Too Soon
2000
A Valentine's day warning
An Unsolved Crime
2000
'Some half-buried memories of long-ago days / "A la rechercher du temps perdu" '
Tribulations of the Gods*
2000
'If you ever get around to publishing a book of poems like these, put me down for a copy' - E. Dent
Surprise!
1999
' "You'll find this experience without fail / works out on an exponential scale" '
A Homage...
*
1999
' "He had a friend, a portly chap / So accidentally debonair'
Self Awareness
1999
On reflection of a five-year-old gazing into a mirror reviews
The Last Artist
1999
'...a human face / frozen in the agony of creation / amidst his own destruction" '
&ante Melancholico
*
1999
'He must have had such fun writing this one' - J. Hayes
'...gave me mixed feelings of amusement as well as sympathy' - M. Reijman
The Never-Ending Poem
1999
'Certainly a comical and well-written bit of poetry' - B. Bovington
'Intelligent humour' - E. Dent
The Dreamer Of Dreams
*
1999
'A superficial reading... is sufficient to whet the appetite and read it more thoroughly. It appears quite meticulous and serious' - A. Brett
Counterpoint
1998
'Very impressive. What can I say? I love it all!' - S.C.
An Earie Encounter
("Weard")
1997
' "An eye for a lie, or a tooth for a truth / or an understanding ear for the sins of youth" '
A Cautionary Tale
*
1997
'Absorbing and very amusing all through. A dream work, indeed' - B. Bovington
'reminds me of the "Snark" & "Ancient Mariner" and I want to read it and read it" - V. Rainsford
Solaria
*
(My best work???)
1996
'Good ballad effect, some lovely wordplay' - A. Claybourne
'Another minor epic. How does he do it?' - E. Dent
Guide to the Composers
1996
'Stravinsky danced a pagan rite / Rodrigo worked without a light'
My Christmas List
1996
'A boxful of spine-chilling groans / A xylophone made from REAL bones!
For the Year 2000
1994
'This is very cleverly put together, both in content and structure' - L. Richardson
'This one certainly made me sit back and think. Elwood covered every prospect.' - B. Sefton
Tutor & The Programmer
1993
' "A batch process" the tutor said, "is what we chiefly need. / Flowcharts and analysis, and twenty MIPS of speed" '
Life Cycle
1982
'Don't be disillusioned / Time passes by / Leaving us far behind'
This is it
(Well I think so...)
1981
'Then after she said he'd turned round / and told her what he thought...'
A Beatle Letter
1981
Figure this one out for yourself!
The Portrait
1980
'She stays ever young with the passing of years / And as I grow older her eyes fill with tears'
Times And Tides
1978
'Elwood has ... captured an image of bleakness without laying the gloom on with a trowel.' - E. Dent
The Final Witness
1978
'Will I see an arc of sunlight in a rhythmic flashing sky? / Will I see old friendly faces crumple, wither by and by?
Circle Round the Sun
1977
'Realize the one who weeps / Watching over human tears'
My very first attempt
1976
Don't laugh... I was only 18!