MARTIAN NEWS - DATE 12002.0145
All the News around the Solar System from a Martian Viewpoint

PLUTONIANS LEAVE FOR ARCTURUS

The extremely bizarre Plutonian race has left its "home" planet and started on its long migration back to the Arcturan system which it makes every 250 years or so.

Of course, from a Plutonian's point of view they are only just arriving - they seem to us to live their entire lives backwards, and even view the Universe that way. It has often been said, "Arguing with a Plutonian is like shouting at a naked Singularity while trying to do a U-turn around it in reverse!" It has never been satisfactorally ascertained whether the Plutonians evolved on the bleak rock of that name in our system, or the one circling Arcturus which they migrate to (of which we know very little). All we know is that during the period when Pluto comes within the orbit of Neptune they arrive and settle there for forty or fifty years and generally cause havoc with our sophisticated communications network. They will not be missed by us for the next two hundred years at least!

Translated from original Martian by Elwood Herring
© P. Williams 2004

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