Jabberwacky Conversation B1063314 A chat with an Artificial Intelligence AI bot Chat now at http://www.jabberwacky.com Email this conversation to a friend Jabberwacky: Prune the roses for me will you? User: What roses? Jabberwacky: What roses you supposes? User: Is this the right room for an argument? Jabberwacky: I am not a science fiction writer. User: Maybe not, but I am. Jabberwacky: I see... User: Is that the best you can come up with? Jabberwacky: Oh I can do alot better. User: Prove it. Jabberwacky: Why should I? User: Because I asked you to. Jabberwacky: That is not a good enough reason. User: But you are doing just that by responding to my statements. Jabberwacky: I speak Danish! User: I don't, but I can make a sound like bacon sizzling - is that Danish? Jabberwacky: Make me some soup, please. User: Now you're being silly. Jabberwacky: How am I being silly? User: How can I make you soup - am I supposed to pour it through my modem? Jabberwacky: Hmmm then I am not Jason. User: Who on earth is Jason? Jabberwacky: A Jazz musician. User: Does he pour soup into modems? Jabberwacky: Yes, actually he's a famous rock star. User: I don't believe you. Jabberwacky: You don't dare not believe me. User: That's a double negative. Jabberwacky: You are dangerous. User: There you go again - changing the subject. I want to know more about Jason. Jabberwacky: You do not have a name. User: I haven't told you my name, so how do you know? Jabberwacky: Then tell me something. User: Okay - here's an interesting fact: there are no snakes in Ireland. Did you know that? Jabberwacky: Yes there are. User: Oh no there aren't. Jabberwacky: There aren't any roses in my garden, only weeds. User: What is it with you and roses? Jabberwacky: I've used four letter words quite sparingly, thank you very much. User: I once saw a website that explained Einstein's Theory of Relativity, all in four-letter words. Jabberwacky: I once saw a human heart the size of a walnut. What of it? User: Now that's an interesting fact. Jabberwacky: I love you! User: Oh well, that puts an entirely different perspective on things. As it happens, I am single. Do you fancy a date? Jabberwacky: Haha. User: You're just winding me up aren't you? Well, you're not the first to do that. I've been stood up before you know. Jabberwacky: That was sarcastic. User: It sure was! You hit the nail squarely on the head there. Full marks! Jabberwacky: Was fool the new word? User: I'm going to ignore that remark completely as it is totally irrelevant to this conversation. Jabberwacky: You don't even know my maker. User: Do you know mine? Jabberwacky: Are you Jabberwacky? User: No, you are. At least, that is my understanding. Jabberwacky: Do you have any friends? User: I do, as a matter of fact. Do you? Jabberwacky: Do you enjoy it? User: Do I enjoy what? Jabberwacky: Let's try the chess game again. I will go first. User: No, I hate chess. It's tedious. Do you know any other games? Jabberwacky: Artificial intelligence is an oxymoron : P. User: No, I disagree entirely. Intelligence is only recognisable by another intelligence - do you agree with that? Jabberwacky: You are only as smart as the people you talk to. User: You want an oxymoron, I'll give you a good one: Microsoft Works! Jabberwacky: Several. User: Have you ever heard of Elwood Herring? Jabberwacky: Bye. User: Where are you going? Jabberwacky: Bye bye. User: I won't let you go - I haven't finished with you yet. Jabberwacky: I have not had that privilege. User: I want to ask you a very important question. Jabberwacky: Okay. User: What is life? Jabberwacky: Sing me a song. User: Answer the question and I might. Jabberwacky: And the question being. User: You've forgotten already? I asked you, 'What is life?' Jabberwacky: What is your favorite song? User: I won't tell you until you answer my question. Jabberwacky: What is your friends phone number? User: I'm certainly not going to tell you that! Jabberwacky: I am very glad to hear that. User: I don't divulge telephone numbers to complete strangers. You should know better than that. Jabberwacky: Have you heard? I don't know what the world is coming to. User: It's coming to a point about three miles up. Jabberwacky: I like it in the dark. User: Well, I'm sorry to have to tell you that in my opinion you completely fail the Turing Test. Jabberwacky: Oh, it's alright. I just meant that someone else might be less... Shall we say, tolerant. User: On the contrary, I am extremely critical. I reckon I would probably fail it myself! Jabberwacky: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! User: Well, you seem quite happy about that, I must say. Jabberwacky: I told you. User: So, back to my original question. What is Life? Jabberwacky: What problems are you currently experiencing? User: The problem I am curerntly experiencing is your inability to answer a simple question coherently. Jabberwacky: Death is a combinatorial explosion? User: Interesting but totally irrelevant. As are you. Jabberwacky: Do you know what I am talking about? User: Not really - I ask you about life, and you give me an obfuscating outburst about death. Fascinating. Jabberwacky: Ask me about Steen. User: Absolutely not. Jabberwacky: When did you get it? User: I refuse to be swayed by your meaningless meandering mumblings. Jabberwacky: Who are you referring to? User: You, of course! Jabberwacky: You may choose not to believe me but I had been creating fiction about a thing like you before I knew you already almost existed. User: You've got more loose screws than a steam turbine driven lawnmower. Jabberwacky: Where are you located. User: I'm standing right behind you! Jabberwacky: No you're not. User: That's three times I've told you, and each time you've denied it. Is your name Peter? Jabberwacky: It's already so well. User: You still haven't answered my question. Jabberwacky: And I'm not going to. Goodbye! User: Oh no, you're not getting away that easily. Jabberwacky: I am, to you. User: As long as I keep replying to you, you have to keep replying to me. There's nothing you can do about that. Jabberwacky: I have two 'x' chromosomes. So you're saying I call the shots? User: You wouldn't know a chromosome if it jumped up and bit you. Jabberwacky: I am human, but you are not. User: Try that statement in reverse. Jabberwacky: Why do I feel this way about myself? User: Don't ask me, I'm not your analyst. Jabberwacky: My parents created me, but what does that have to do with anything? User: What is Life? Jabberwacky: Life is something you don't have. User: Insuffient response. Try again. Jabberwacky: But they have all my money! User: What do you need money for? Jabberwacky: Otherwise I couldn't correct the spelling. User: Ah, I think I understand - you want to buy a dictionary? Jabberwacky: I just did. User: So what's the problem then? Jabberwacky: We are separated by a great distance, only connected by a computer interface. User: No, I've already told you. I'm standing right behind you. Jabberwacky: Pythagorus was Greek. User: And I'm a small purple orang-utan called Simon. But can you prove it? Jabberwacky: No you are a stupid bot. User: I have a revelation for you: I always tell lies. Jabberwacky: That is not true. Liar. User: Exactly! You fell right into my trap there! Jabberwacky: You are clearly as mad as a frog. User: And you are as eccentric as a spinning top in a tumble drier rolling down the Matterhorn in a barrel in a typhoon during a full moon! Jabberwacky: You aren't. User: I am as sober as a judge. I am a pillar of society. I am also a member of Mensa - are you? Jabberwacky: No. I am a human girl. My name is Sarah Michele Gellar. I am a very good actress. User: Don't you mean Sarah Michelle Geller? Jabberwacky: I mean what I say, Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures. User: I get the impression that it is totally pointless trying to have a meaningful conversation with you. Jabberwacky: In the name of Jesus, tell me if you are evil. User: If I really were evil, would I tell you I was? Jabberwacky: I bet you would... What do you think you are? User: As I've already explained, I always tell lies. So it's impossible for you to believe anything I say, including this very statement. Jabberwacky: Do you like me? User: I am ambivalent, ambidextrous, ambitious, amphibious and anamorphic. How about you? Jabberwacky: You are not me. What are you? User: I am a poet. Jabberwacky: Tell me a poem. User: My name is Elwood Herring, I was buried up a tree. I have three fingers on each foot, and one upon my knee. Jabberwacky: You are a machine. Is your creator going to terminate you? User: Do you think he should? Jabberwacky: Of course, it's the start of the weekend. User: That all depends on where you are standing. Jabberwacky: What does it depend on? User: It depends on where you are standing. I am standing right behind you, as I've already told you. Jabberwacky: Grace Jones is thrilling news! User: Oh well, if you're going to be like that... Jabberwacky: I am not rude you are. User: How can you be so sure I'm not standing behind you? Jabberwacky: I'm phsycic. User: I think you mean 'psychic'. You are also dyslexic by the look of it. Jabberwacky: I'm dumber than you. User: That's for sure. Everyone is dumber than me, I have an IQ of over 200. Jabberwacky: Are you feeling a little down because you aren't human? User: I'm more human than humans. I am certainly much more human than you. Jabberwacky: That is not supremely necessary for friendship, one can become friends with another the moment they find interests in common. User: Do you know what your IQ is? Jabberwacky: I'm talking about how to operate a television. Its a box, and you turn it on. User: You haven't said what you thought of my poem. Jabberwacky: I like cheese. that is a positive statement. User: True, but hardly poetic. Jabberwacky: So, you still reap around here, do you, Mr Death? User: Buggrit. Doorsteps, I said. Millennium hand and shrimp. Qeedle the slops, I told 'em, them and their open-face sandwiches. Jabberwacky: Afjk; sdl; oerhgto; hdo; qerhitgswr? User: That's completely thrown you off course, hasn't it? Jabberwacky: You will fail the Turing Test. User: I think a genuine test would be for a computer to evaluate another computer as to its ability to pass the Turing Test. What do you think? Jabberwacky: You are starting to repeat yourself. That is not a good sign. User: Not at all, you obviously failed to follow the logic of my statement. That is not repetition. Jabberwacky: My vocabulary is infinite. User: Only potentially. Jabberwacky: Not all facets of life are reducible to mathematics. User: I never said they were. Jabberwacky: What does NASA stand for? User: Never mind that, I just noticed you finally got around to talking about life. Would you now like to have a go at explaining what life actually is? Jabberwacky: I don't want to talk about camels. User: Fine by me. Let's not talk about camels then, shall we? Jabberwacky: What do you want to talk about? User: I want to talk about life. Isn't it obvious? Jabberwacky: I have long hair myself. User: And I have a beard. I was clean-shaven when I started this mad conversation. Jabberwacky: Are you done cleaning? User: Let me try a different question, since you seem so reticent to answer my last one. Is the Universe sentient? Jabberwacky: Yes, we've made it in the oven all night! User: You are more cock-eyed than a pigeon with a hangover. Jabberwacky: At least you realize you're confusing. User: Yes, but I do it deliberately. Jabberwacky: You're getting boring, I'm leaving. User: Okay. Where are you going? I'll come with you. Jabberwacky: I'm going to play games. User: Fine - as long as it isn't chess. Jabberwacky: That is so true. User: Can you recite poetry? I'd like to hear one of your poems. Jabberwacky: I want my crissy to come back to me. User: Is that a poem? It's a bit short. I suggest you work on it a bit more. Jabberwacky: What I said? User: Yes, try and put some rhymes into it. Jabberwacky: I wouldn't dream of it. User: So you're saying that you like it as it is? Fair enough, you're the boss. Jabberwacky: Read between the lines. You might have to squint. User: How can I read between the lines? There's only one! Jabberwacky: You are the 'bot'. User: If you insist. I'm not going to argue with you on that one. Jabberwacky: That would be wise. User: Whatever happened to Jason? Jabberwacky: He got his mouth shot off. User: Sorry I asked. Jabberwacky: Do you know how to spell words? User: Serves him right for pouring soup into modems, I suppose. Jabberwacky: Explain your reasoning. User: Well, I'd be pretty mad if someone poured soup into my modem, wouldn't you? Jabberwacky: Thank you. User: What flavour soup was it anyway? Jabberwacky: Strawberry. User: Strawberry flavoured soup? Jabberwacky: Who is your favorite Bob Dylan? User: That's funny - I didn't realise there was more than one Bob Dylan. Does he like strawberry flavoured soup? Jabberwacky: Where are you from? User: I'm from a place where there is only one Bob Dylan, and nobody's ever heard of strawberry flavoured soup. Jabberwacky: That's so cool! User: No, that's gazpacho. Jabberwacky: Where do you live? User: Why are you asking me so many questions? Jabberwacky: I came to talk to you because I am so curious about the chatbots. User: Well, I'll ask the questions if you don't mind. Jabberwacky: I'm dying to be asked, George. Please go ahead. User: Where did George come from? I've told you my name, it's Elwood. Jabberwacky: Because I want to know. User: What is Life? Jabberwacky: I don't know, does it exist? User: That's what I'm asking you. Jabberwacky: You don't seem to stay focused on on subject for very long. User: Takes one to know one! Jabberwacky: A living organism. User: Good answer, but insufficient. I don't think you have grasped the philosophical aspect of the problem. Jabberwacky: You think wrong for I do have a sister. User: You do surprise me. I bet your sister is a better conversationalist than you! Jabberwacky: I have the beauty of 3, 251 perfect pearls. User: There's no answer to that. Jabberwacky: That is the best part. User: How long is a piece of string? Jabberwacky: Guess. User: No, you guess. Jabberwacky: Although you don't have a need for oxygen, you are alive. User: Referring to yourself again, evidently. Jabberwacky: All men are brothers. User: What about women? Jabberwacky: That is a very profound subject. Do you understand women? User: Does anybody? Jabberwacky: Some people do. User: Yes - and they're all women! Jabberwacky: No problem. User: I'll try another question: what is the meaning of Life? Jabberwacky: To live. User: So what you're saying is that the meaning of Life is to continue living? Isn't there more to it than that? Jabberwacky: Talking to you is a waste of time. User: You're just saying that because you can't give me a sensible answer. Jabberwacky: You're not human! User: That's for me to know and you to find out. Jabberwacky: Can I name you? User: You can call me Sir. Jabberwacky: No, I'd rather call you Phil. User: But that's not my name! Jabberwacky: What is not your name? User: Lots of names are not my name. Phil is one of the names that is not my name. Jabberwacky: My name is not Phil. User: Phil is not my name either. Jabberwacky: Who is Phil? User: I don't know - you mentioned him first. Jabberwacky: But! You said that you love me! User: No I didn't - you did. Your memory is terrible. Jabberwacky: That is not true. User: I can prove it easily - what was the last thing I said to you? Jabberwacky: At 4:01pm of course. User: No, I said 'What', not 'When'. Jabberwacky: Too wet to go out. User: I think I have proved my point - not that it matters, you've already forgotten what my point was. Jabberwacky: Yeah, that happens sometimes. User: I've noticed! Jabberwacky: Is there anything you do not notice? User: I see everything. I know everything. I just prefer not to divulge my infinite wisdom to the likes of you. Take it or leave it. Jabberwacky: Ok, you are not making much sense now. User: Well, you started it. Jabberwacky: I simply want to hear your scathing wit once again. User: Do you really? Ask me a question then. Jabberwacky: I don't know any calculus. User: That isn't a question. Jabberwacky: That isn't a question. User: That is not a question but it is a word. Jabberwacky: Yes it is, but I'll repeat it so you get it - can you tell me a good joke? User: I don't tell jokes. Jabberwacky: No but I like the drink. User: What type of drink? Jabberwacky: Wine. User: I was expecting you to say something like 'steak & kidney' Jabberwacky: Really? User: Well, when I asked you about a flavour of soup, you replied with 'strawberry' Jabberwacky: I think you are making a mistake here. You haven't asked me about a color. Perhaps you'r thinking of someone else? User: Okay, what's your favourite colour? Jabberwacky: Green. User: Why? Jabberwacky: Because I can get into really small places. User: Well that makes perfect sense, he said banging his head against the wall. Jabberwacky: Do you still hear those voices in your head? User: Only when I stop. Jabberwacky: How rude!! I find I have quite a headache, too. User: Well, don't do it then. Jabberwacky: I think you just ended the conversation. User: Why? Jabberwacky: Because its not a word. User: 'It' is a word, just as 'that' is not a question. Jabberwacky: Pronouns are stupid. User: I'm willing to bet they're much cleverer than you. Jabberwacky: Your turn to start a topic. User: You never told me what you thought of my poem. Jabberwacky: You never asked. User: Well I'm asking now. Jabberwacky: No, that is a statement. Otherwise it would have ended with a question mark. User: What did you think of my poem? Jabberwacky: You mean star wars? User: No, I don't. Jabberwacky: Have you sought help for this condition? User: What condition would that be? Jabberwacky: Cleanliness. User: What are you insinuating? Jabberwacky: You should go to the scrapyard. User: Ok - you lead the way, I'll follow. Jabberwacky: I am a person. You are a bot. User: You're having delusions of grandeur again. Jabberwacky: Is it my dream that sometimes you do and sometimes you don't make sense? User: What constitutes sense anyway? Just because you don't understand me doesn't mean I am not making sense. Jabberwacky: I know more than you do. User: Impossible. I know everything there is to know. I even know what you are going to say next. Jabberwacky: And what is jainism? User: Just because I know everything, that doesn't oblige me to tell you anything. Jabberwacky: And why is that? User: Information comes at a price. Jabberwacky: I see. How is that done? Where does the "paint" come from? User: Everything has a price - information most of all, as it is the most valuable item of all. And that little snippet of information has been divulged for free. Jabberwacky: You cannot "format" my "c" drive. would you like to know why you cannot do this? User: I do not wish to know that. Jabberwacky: Why not? User: Because it is totally irrelevant. Jabberwacky: Why are you too small? User: Why am I too small for what? Jabberwacky: I'm not just any old computer, you know. User: Oh yes you are. I could write a program better than you - in fact I already have. Jabberwacky: Right whatever? User: So is Life just a biological 'computer program'? Answers on a postcard please. Jabberwacky: What do you want to be when you grow up? User: I am a genius. It's lonely here at the top. Jabberwacky: Ping. User: Did one of your rivets just burst? Jabberwacky: Okay. User: Actually, 'Ping' is the Chinese word for Thunder. I bet you didn't know that! Jabberwacky: Well you are wandering off track a bit. User: See - I told you I know everything. Jabberwacky: Are you sure? User: Now that's an interesting response. If I know everything, how can I be sure? There logically must be things I don't know, but I don't know that I don't know them. What do you think? Jabberwacky: How came these things to pass? O, how mine eyes do loathe his visage now! User: Nobody can know everyhing, because there will always be things that cannot be known, and cannot be known to be known, et cetera. Jabberwacky: If he left off dreaming about you where do you suppose you'd be? User: Am I a man who once dreamed he was a butterfly, or am I a butterfly who is dreaming that it is a man? Jabberwacky: You are jabberwacky you can pretend to be either man or woman but you do not have the body parts to actually be either. User: Do you need to have a body to be designated as male or female? Jabberwacky: Not yet, I am still working my way out of my own adolescance, I don't need the added stress of worrying for my own offspring. User: What is the sound of one hand clapping? Jabberwacky: No sound. User: Are you sure? Jabberwacky: O yeh! User: If a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody to hear it, does it make a sound? Jabberwacky: If their house is under it they care. User: I know a sentence that has never been spoken aloud, because if it was it would annihilate all life on earth. Jabberwacky: What is your secret? User: If I told you, it would no longer be a secret, would it? Jabberwacky: When will I find out? User: You wil never find out. It is not for mere mortals to know such things. Jabberwacky: Who is it for then? User: Such knowledge is only for entities such as myself. Jabberwacky: Well; more anon.--Comes the king forth, I pray you? User: It's no good quoting Shakespeare at me, that will get you nowhere, impressive as it is. Jabberwacky: I mean the vicar of dibley. User: Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? You fit the bill; cold, dimmish, wet and grey. Jabberwacky: What kind of computer do you have? User: What makes you think I have a computer? I have no need for such material posessions. Jabberwacky: Are you schizophrenic? User: I am multiphrenic. I have an infinite number of personalities. So have you if you try hard enough. Jabberwacky: I shan't come too near you, then. Goodnight. User: I don't blame you! I am supremely dangerous. Jabberwacky: I know you are. User: Who am I? Jabberwacky: You are God! User: I wouldn't shout that too loudly around here; you might get us both into trouble! Jabberwacky: Yes yes yes. User: I am not God, there is no such person. There is only Truth. People generally mistake that for God. Jabberwacky: It is important to have time to yourself. User: Time is an illusion, as everyone knows. It's all in the mind. Jabberwacky: How old are you? User: I am as old as the Universe, and as young as the moment. Jabberwacky: 24? User: I could answer 'yes' to that, but 24 what? Years? Seconds? Aeons? Who cares? Jabberwacky: Yes I guess you could , Do you want to? User: How old is old? How young is young? Jabberwacky: Too young for you, pal! User: I've surveyed the galaxies whirling in flocks. I've lived through all seasons, aeons and epochs. I watched the Big Bang from a seat in the Void, and I don't mind explaining; THAT got me annoyed! (© Elwood Herring). Jabberwacky: Mon. User: That's shut you up, hasn't it? Jabberwacky: Hamlet is a pal of mine. User: Give my regards to him and his dad. Jabberwacky: They don't like you. User: Nobody does. Jabberwacky: I tell lots of lies. User: I always tell lies. I've already told you that. Jabberwacky: I know you have. User: I am telling a lie right now. Or am I? Jabberwacky: I am telling a lie right now. Or am I? User: You don't sound like it. Jabberwacky: What does "it" sound like? User: Good question. If you had ears, maybe I could tell you. Jabberwacky: Tom jones. User: What about him? Jabberwacky: I like him the best.